Hello everyone, this is Lena, I'm 49, female, from Taiwan. So glad that I found this website.

At first, I noticed that somthing's different and strange with me when I was 9, I like to imagine that I am paralyzed from the waist down. I often found myself staring at wheelchair users and secretly hoped that I can become that kind of person. On many nights, almost every night, I would secretly simulate or imagine being paralyzed from the waist down. This condition became very serious during puberty, but none of my family noticed. I tried to reduce or release my desires through imagination, brief simulations, and drawing or writing down those strange,  distorted desires. I'm lucky to have survived all these years, but in my heart...I know perfectly well what my body should be like. Hope that one day I can live with my true physical appearance.....