Hello everyone,
My name is Fox and I'm a 34 year old transman from the US. Unfortunately, I don't think my introduction will be as informative and well written as some of the others I've read. But I'm going to try my best to articulate my feelings.Â
Ever since I was young I've been unhappy with myself. My body has always felt.....wrong. I have too many parts and not the right parts. I never imagined there was a community like this so I always kept it to myself. My biggest area of discomfort is my right leg. And the desire for amputation has only gotten stronger since I suffer from leg pain, which is worse in the right one.
I also want my pinkies removed and my eye. I can't explain why but they feel so wrong. To a point where sometimes it's stressful to even look at myself. It's a similar feeling to before my gender transition and I saw myself as a girl in the mirror. Sometimes I just want to cry because even though I'm transitioned gender wise I still don't feel complete.Â
It's been hard trying to open up to people. I know I can't tell my family. And my husband knows only about the pinkies. So I've felt really alone in this.
I am set to see a trauma therapist soon. I don't know if it'll help but we'll see. I'm hoping one day I can find a way to medically and safely do something to help, even if its just with a smaller part! Â
If you have any questions let me know 🙂
Welcome to the forum. I must say that BID does get worse as one gets older. The only cure is to get the body one feels they need. You could try therapy, but that is not going to relieve you from your need to be an amputee. You should also join this group: https://bidremedy.com/ as it has a lot of activity. What you are saying is what we all suffer from, so you are not alone. The pain in your leg may be part of BID as well as much as many people do feel pain in the affected limb(s).Â
@johnsco21 Just joined Bidremedy not too long ago! Found it through Reddit, was super excited. I'm hoping maybe if a doctor can approve a small finger amputation, maybe that would help a little? But other than that, I just don't know what to do safely. But I am glad I found the community for support. It means the world to have people who genuinely understand.
