I describe myself as an “other‑maker” and do not feel really so disabled with my legal disability. The term “disabled” arises for me solely from what other people want to see according to general societal statutes. The individual human being himself often remains in the background.
For some, a disability is a catastrophe, while others have never known anything different, and for them it is completely normal to do things differently than, for example, the neighbor. People constantly compare themselves.
In BID, the struggle for recognition of one’s own individuality is shaped by persuasion work that, according to general perception, is quickly labeled as “crazy.” When those affected come out, they immediately encounter boundaries: “Oh, that is totally crazy.” The supposed consequence is psychotherapy.
However, this can — especially because there is no general recognition of the suffering caused by BID and because it cannot be treated through conventional means (even after hundreds or thousands of sessions with psychologists or psychiatrists) — even intensify the dysphoria in the long term.
People are also subject to certain constraints through ICD and DSM classifications and are restricted in their individual freedom of decision. This affects people with BID particularly strongly. Outwardly, a person must function as norm‑compliant as possible. Anything that deviates from this — even if it only slightly falls out of the frame — is tolerated only with difficulty or not at all by society. I simply call this herd instinct.
BID is highly individual and usually shaped since childhood. It is a constant hide‑and‑seek between one’s own inner reality and the external, socially expected “truth.” These two levels cannot easily be brought into harmony. This is exactly what intensifies the dysphoria, because people with BID are restricted in their individuality from early childhood far more than would be necessary.
Understanding would be an important first step in building trust between those affected and doctors — a trust that is currently massively lacking. More understanding could lead to those affected confiding in their doctors in the first place.
The professional community can pathologize BID as much as it wants — that will not solve the problem. On the contrary: it intensifies the dysphoria. Only when mutual trust is established can a meaningful approach to BID be found.
A broken bone is not healed through psychotherapy, and an amputated leg does not grow back because of it — even though it would be wonderful for some people who suffer from the loss. At least there is societal agreement that lost limbs do not grow back.
There are many people who say after an amputation (due to illness or accident): “It was the best thing that ever happened to me.” You find exactly the same statements in BID.
But because BID‑affected individuals are labeled as “crazy” through pathologization, the dysphoria and the restriction of their individuality intensify even further. This does not make the situation any easier. Even the step of joining a forum is difficult for many — out of fear of being judged. Some take years before they dare.
Norms and statutes are important, no question. But especially in BID, these supposedly correct norms probably lead to greater individual problems than necessary. The inner — how it should or must be — and the outer — how it must conform to the norm — do not match in BID. In a broad sense, BID is therefore an illness because it represents a deviation from the norm.
Not everything has to be operated on; that depends on the individual level of suffering. Nevertheless, it would make sense to consider a right to individual healing pathways for BID.
In the end, the big question arises: Who pays for possible treatment, and to what extent?
Since all people with BID know the topics of “being considered crazy,” “trust,” and “costs” all too well, I deliberately raise this question:
What are those affected supposed to do? What options do they have?
Suffering in silence officially costs nothing — but in the end perhaps than anything else means.
